


The Perfect Pair (of Idiots)

by Fromageinterrupted



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Everyone yells at some point, F/M, Handcuffs being used appropriately, Mentions of boxer shorts, There's some Pidgjamas (though somewhat one-sided), You call that a date?, bad dad joke, biscuit head, flirtyrobot, p-p-discord challenge, pidgance, plance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:32:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fromageinterrupted/pseuds/Fromageinterrupted
Summary: Ending up in a Military Police Station at 2AM is not the way to end a date.But was it really a date to begin with?





	The Perfect Pair (of Idiots)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a fun challenge in our plance discord. Hailqiqi came up with the idea.
> 
> Premise: Pidge has arrived at an incorrect conclusion and is upset.
> 
> Must be longer than 300 words and no longer than 1500 words.
> 
> Must include:  
> 1\. James & Lance interaction  
> 2\. Soulmates (in any form)  
> 3\. A disciplinary action.
> 
> If you are interested in seeing all the other authors' takes on this prompt, check out the tag p-p-discord challenge on tumblr.

The handcuffs anchoring Lance to the arm of a bench in the military police headquarters chaffed. He wasn’t even trying to break out of them, he just wanted to be further from his bench buddy, James “perfect-Flyboy-everyone-loves” Griffin, who, incidentally, was cuffed to the opposite arm of the same bench. Together, they had a splendid view of Pidge, who was being interrogated in a room opposite their shared bench. Lance wondered what the MPs were trying to gain by forcing them to watch the interrogation.

She looked like a drowned puppy. A very cute drowned puppy who was very agitated with her interrogators and would likely strangle them the moment they let their guard down. Her mouth appeared to be yelling and she was moving her unbound hands around, pointing out the window, making a choking symbol, pointing at the guards, among other less-than-polite gestures.

“You think she’s going to be okay?” James leaned back on the bench, a crease of worry between his brows. 

“Pffft. This is Pidge we’re talking about, I’m just waiting for her to choke one of them.” Lance threw a smirk at James, “any minute now.”

“I get that she’s mad, but Katie’s also in there with nothing but her skivvies on and a government issued blanket. And she’s soaking wet to boot. I hope it’s warm in there.” James sighed, his eyes never leaving the window they could view Pidge through.

“She’s fine. She’s gone through worse. At least she has a blanket. We get to sit in this air conditioned hallway while we drip dry onto the tile.” A shiver ran up Lance’s spine, a reminder of his near nakedness. At least he was wearing his boxer shorts with the hearts all over them. James was wearing boxer briefs that left nothing to the imagination and made Lance a little envious if he was being honest with himself. “Show off.”

“Huh? You say something McClain?” He still didn’t turn his attention toward Lance. 

Yikes, he did not mean to say that out loud. “Why do you get to call her Katie? Isn’t Ms. Holt appropriate for your rank and position?” Great, now that he’s all cold and angry and jealous, his mouth has disengaged itself from his brain. 

Finally James pulled his gaze away from Pidge, “Something wrong with calling her Katie? It’s her name after all.” James quirked the corner of his mouth up, “Besides, Ms. Holt seems a little formal for someone you’re dating, does it not.” He leveled his gaze at Lance as if throwing a gauntlet in challenge.

“Dating!” Oh God, please don’t let that be true. “How are you dating?! You’re not dating. I haven’t heard of any of these so called dates. And Pidge tells me everything.” There, problem solved.   
James’ handcuffs clanked on the bench as he tried to lerch toward Lance. “What do you mean ‘not dating’, we were on a date tonight which you so rudely invited yourself on. Katie isn’t rude so she let you come along.” 

“What! No way man, I was the one on a date with Pidge tonight. She’s the one that invited me!” Lance could hear his voice getting louder. “And I’ll have you know, Pidge is very rude and wouldn’t hesitate to kick me to the curb if I was imposing.”

James’ face turned red “She invited you?! As if, I was there if you remember”- Lance did remember but he chose to feign innocence- “I asked if she was up for a little adventure, to which you said ‘adventure, sounds fun, I’m so bored with all this Garrison stuff.’ And to which Katie said ‘Sure, meet you at 7, the usual place?’ AND THEN I SAID ‘yes’. Does that sound like she asked you? You just showed up? How do you know about our usual place anyway?” James seemed to forget he was handcuffed for a second as he tried to cross his arms. He slouched and pouted instead, “You ruined it. It’s your fault we’re practically naked and handcuffed to a bench.” 

Lance was fuming, “Invited myself along!?. After you left, Pidge asked me if I would like to come along. She. Invited. Me. On. A. Date.” Lance realized, as he was saying it outloud, that she never called it a date, but he was on a roll, no reason to stop now. “And it’s your fault we’re here, handcuffed and cold. You don’t get to complain, at least you have shoes on!” Lance tried to kick him.

“THEY’RE NOT EVEN BOTH MY SHOES!” James tried to kick Lance back.

“ATTENTION!” 

Both men tried to stand up and salute, the actions turning out to be impossible when handcuffed to a bench. 

Iverson, Shiro, and Keith appeared in front of them. Lance knew he was in for it now. 

“Don’t bother saying anything, Keith.” 

Keith smirked, “Wasn’t planning on it. Looks like you’ve punished yourself enough.” Lance heard the sound of a digital camera, looking up to see Keith putting his phone away. That biscuit head better not have taken a pic.

Shiro broke the mutual glares, “Lance, please explain to me why I was woken up by the MPs at 2AM on a Thursday morning, to come take care of some of my ‘unruly’ men? And where is Pidge?”

James spoke up first, “Katie is being interrogated. She’s the one that got us through security.”

Lance jumped in “But it’s not her fault! It’s James’, he was the one that suggested it!” 

“I did not! You were the one who started the whole pissing contest to begin with. I have nothing to prove to Katie.” James leveled his smug face at Lance. 

“Shut up! You’re the one that agreed to the terms. AND QUIT CALLING HER KATIE!” 

Lance kicked at James again.

James kicked back “WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALL HER!?” he jabbed Lance’s calf with his foot.

“PIDGE IS FINE!” Lance swung his leg out to push James’ foot away.

James appeared to deflate “she won’t let me call her Pidge.” He mumbled. 

Well that’s different. Lance wanted to ask him what that was all about, but he was interrupted.

“WHAT THE QUIZNAK IS HAPPENING! WHY ARE YOU GUYS STILL FIGHTING!?”

“Pidge!” Lance’s heart fluttered at her sudden appearance. “You’re okay!”

“Yeah- no thanks to you guys.” She tightened the blanket at her shoulders and turned to Shiro.

“Can you take me home now?” 

Shiro’s gaze softened, he placed a hand on Pidge’s shoulder. “Keith will take you home, I’ve got to stay and take care of these guys.” He gestured over his shoulder with his other hand. “What happened anyway?” 

“We went on an adventure that got out of control.” Lance had to give Pidge credit, she was using her pouty, tired angle to its fullest advantage. Shiro, Keith, James, and even Iverson seemed to soften their demeanor at her. He wasn’t buying it. “I told them you can’t safely swim in the cooling pool of the nuclear plant, but nooo, they just had to prove who has the biggest d--”

“Pidge!” Lance interrupted. “Tell James we were on a date.” Brain still not engaged apparently.

“No!” James butted in, “tell Lance we were on a date.”

“Just shut up you two! I don’t know what tonight was, but if either of you thought it was a date, you’re really bad at dating. I have a headache, no clothes thanks to the decontamination, and apparently have just been on the worst date ever. I’m going home.” She grabbed Keith’s arm and dragged him toward the exit. 

Lance called out “I’ll text you when I get my phone back!”  
He was surprised when Pidge looked at him over her shoulders, a little blush on her cheeks, or was that radiation exposure? “Fine. I’ll turn my notifications on. Now-good night.” The door closed after them.

Shiro and Iverson turned to glare at the two men, their arms crossing over their chests in unison. “What do you men have to say for yourselves?” 

James bowed his head, apparently choosing not to speak.

Lance was both angry and hopeful after that last interchange with Pidge. “At least he has shoes. I lost mine.”

Shiro held up a mismatched pair of shoes, “you mean these? They’re not even the same shoe.”

James spoke up, “Hey! Those are our shoes, I have the other ones on my feet.”

“Look on the bright side guys, Pidge may not have thought it was a date, but at least you fellas ended up finding your sole mates tonight.” Shiro laughed hard at his own joke. 

“No offense, “ James added “But screw you Sir.” he chuckled.

Lance joined in the laughter too. More sure than ever that he had found his soulmate years ago, she just didn’t know it yet. .


End file.
